Everything to Give

“I don’t feel like I have anything to offer.”

My own words struck me as if somebody else said them. Tears began forming in my eyes, as I found a part of me that had long been hiding. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks; and boy, did I find out what was in my heart that day!

It sounds silly. I have written Christian songs since I was a teenager and even had them sung in churches. But even hundreds of songs and 20 some years later, the thought of contributing to a co-writing process frightened me. Initially, I was excited at the possibilities awaiting me at a worship songwriter’s retreat that I had just signed up for. But the moment I found out I would have to share one of my own songs to the online forum, fear poured over me like a black cloud full of rain. I suddenly felt I had nothing of value. Nothing of worth. And if I did have something to share, I’d have a hard time asserting my opinion unless forced. (Believing in myself is not my strong suit!)

Being a naturally quiet and introverted person, I have always been content to be in the background. More times than not, I’ve been the girl behind the piano on Sunday, playing and singing back-up. Although I absolutely love the chance to lead worship when I get it, God has seen fit to place me in positions that help and enhance what already is; and I have become perfectly content with that. (Okay, so maybe deep down, my life’s dream is to lead on a more full time basis…) So when the opportunity came to show what I was capable of, it felt more like a dreaded dental appointment. However, I quickly realized God had ordained this time for me to ask myself these questions:

● Why am I hiding myself?

● Why am I holding back what God gave me?

● Why do I believe I am unworthy?

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with that reoccurring voice of doubt that says, “You can’t do it. You’re not worth it. So many other people can do this better than you. You are a failure. Why even pursue your dreams? People won’t like you. You will never be ready. You’re not pretty any more. You’ve gained weight. Your skills aren’t good enough. You can’t even speak. You will never reach your goals. You don’t have what it takes…”

We know this voice is not God. In fact, this is the opposite of God. Why do we listen to it? Why do we believe this voice above God’s voice that tells us we are loved? We are worth it. We are His children. We have abundance. We already have what we need. We are chosen. We do not lack. We are creative, because of our creator. And by His grace, we can accomplish the work He gave us to do. The enemy cannot stop a child of God who knows Whose they are. That’s probably why he gets us distracted by the things we feel we aren’t good at.

It’s time to say, “Enough is enough.”
“What God gave me is enough.” That doesn’t mean we quit learning or pursuing our passion, honing in our skills, and so on. God gave us a mind, let’s use it. God gave us talents and gifts, so use them. Why sit back and think that dreams are for other people, and not for me? That somehow, we aren’t worth the effort or God’s attention?

In his letters to Timothy, the Apostle Paul told him to “not neglect the gift that is in you” (1 Tim. 4:14) and to “stir up the gift” (2 Tim. 1:6). Although Paul speaks of a spiritual gifting Timothy was given, I believe we can also apply this principle to our natural giftings as well. Why would God give us a passion or talent for something and not expect us to “stir” it up? Just as we should not neglect our spiritual gifts, we also should not forget to exercise the natural talents God gave us.

We have everything we need, within our grasp to succeed in the tasks God has ordained for us. All we need to do is stir up our gifts and use them! Apostle Peter puts it this way: “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness…therefore…be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election” (2 Peter 1:3,10). Develop it. Confirm it. Make sure of it. Say “yes” to using the gifts God gave you! Because, gifts are for giving! We give back to God as we use our gifts to edify and encourage others.

God knows our heart’s desires. He knows our weaknesses, our insecurities, our failures. But that is when we lean on His strength, for it is not by power nor by might that we can accomplish anything, but by His spirit. God didn’t give us dreams for us to squander.

So…what’s your dream? And what is holding you back from going for it? What are the gifts you need to develop and use? Write it down, set goals, and pursue it for the glory of God. Keep it always before you, and don’t allow the lies of the enemy to deter you from living the abundant life God desires for you. It may also be helpful to find a mentor in your gifting, a class, conference, or as in my instance, a retreat that helps you grow. But in whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord and be obedient to his call.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of your Spirit most of all, that constantly brings us back to you, reminds us of your word, and helps us fulfill the tasks you’ve laid out before us. Help us to stir up our spiritual and natural gifts, to be obedient to use them when you tell us to, and not to neglect nor be fearful in what you’ve given us. Help us to be good stewards of not only the talents, but also of our time–that we make the most of every opportunity to bless others with what we have to give. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Anna De Lay

I am a wife, homeschool mom, musician, and songwriter; but most importantly, I am a daughter of the King. My heart’s desire is to draw closer to God and bring other people with me! Truly, there is no greater joy.